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Hey, lovelies.
Some days? I feel like I need to dress. Like I’m crawling out of my skin unless I slip into something soft and feminine. Other days, the urge fades. And that used to scare me—I thought it meant I wasn’t “real” enough. Or that maybe this wasn’t as important as I thought.
But that’s not true. And if you’ve ever felt that fluctuation too? You’re not alone.
When I was younger, the whole thing was so sexual. Like… embarrassingly so. I’d sneak a pair of panties, feel the rush, and wonder what the hell was wrong with me. It took years to untangle all that shame and start asking better questions—like what it actually meant to feel good in my body. And that journey? It still shifts every day.
Note from Michelle:
This post originally appeared on my old blog, Crossdresser Chronicles. I’ve moved it here because it still reflects an important part of my journey. Some details may be out of date, or lightly updated to fit where I am now.
👉 Read more about why I brought these posts over.
Why does the urge hit harder sometimes?
Honestly? I think part of it is emotional. Stress, dysphoria, even boredom—it all plays a role. I wrote more about this in my post on how my emotional connection to crossdressing evolved, but the short version? What started as a kink became a kind of self-care. A way to be me without filters.
Some days, I want to dress because it turns me on. Other times, it’s about comfort. And sometimes it’s about needing to feel pretty after a week of holding everything together in boy mode.
But what does it mean?
Girl, I wish I knew.
I’ve had moments where I feel 90% femme and moments where I feel… nothing at all. Not masc. Not femme. Just flat. Like gender disappeared for a second. And I’m learning that’s okay too.
What I’ve realized is that the desire to dress doesn’t always have to mean something fixed. It might be tied to gender. Or to safety. Or to aesthetics. It might be ritual. It might be rebellion. Whatever it is for you—that’s valid.
And if that meaning changes? That’s valid too.
So what do you do when it fades?
Nothing. Seriously. You don’t have to force it. I used to feel guilty when I’d go weeks without dressing. Like I was faking it. Now I realize it’s just part of the flow. The desire always comes back. And when it does, it’s like reconnecting with an old friend.
If you ever need help getting back into it, I cannot recommend this flared midi dress on Amazon—it’s my little black dress of choice.
So now I’m curious:
How often do you feel the pull to dress? Does it come and go like mine? Or is it more steady for you?
If you’ve ever felt weird or fake because your desires changed—please know you’re not. You’re evolving. And that’s beautiful.
🖤 Michelle
4 Comments
Amanda · July 11, 2025 at 3:15 am
It’s been an absolute revelation finding someone whose views so closely align with my own. Seeing my thoughts so logically set out every day has been hugely helpful as I navigate a time when my feminine side has to be firmly locked away for who knows how long.
I too experience the ebbs and flows of all of this. Back in 2022, I went 8 months without dressing other than one single day in the middle and yet when that famine period came to an end, I couldn’t get enough of bringing the inner woman to life. There was a time when I would celebrated that I’d been ‘cured’ then purge everything but I learned the hard way (several times) that, as you say, it always comes back.
I particularly liked your point about reconnecting with an old friend. There have been times when I’ve had the opportunity but, to use teenspeak, have felt at best ‘meh’ about capitalising on it but gone ahead in the absence of anything better to do. And yet as soon as I’ve seen ‘her’ in the mirror, the switch has been flicked and any doubts I had have evaporated. Equally, I’ve also learned not to force it; there’s no greater let down than going to all of the faff of retrieving everything, getting transformed and then realising that I’m just not feeling it.
And, as you say, there’s nothing like a gorgeous dress to reignite the flames!
Michelle · July 11, 2025 at 8:19 am
I know that “famine period” feeling all too well—and how intense it is when the desire comes roaring back. That cycle of purging and thinking you’re “cured”? Been there. More times than I’d like to admit.
And yes to the “meh” dressing days! I’ve had moments where I almost didn’t bother because the spark just wasn’t there—but the second I saw her in the mirror, it was like something inside me woke up. It’s wild how fast that switch can flip.
I felt just as seen reading your words.
Jeannie · July 11, 2025 at 12:13 pm
I crossdressed erotically from 13-15 years around 1980 with my mom ‘sand sister’s clothes. I lost interest in it. When I was 32, I was hit by a bolt out of the blue to try one of my then fiancé’s dresses, but then felt strange and didn’t go through with it.
In my fifties now and have some clothes stashed away, but often not motivated enough to explore. The “Jeannie” is out of bottle, but the drive is not that strong.
Michelle · July 11, 2025 at 2:32 pm
Honestly, I think so many of us go through these long quiet stretches. Life gets full. Energy shifts. And sometimes it just… doesn’t feel like the moment. But the fact that you’ve kept pieces of her tucked away? That says something. She’s still part of you—even if she’s not front and center.