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Hey, lovelies.
I don’t get to be in girl mode all the time. As much as I’d love to live there permanently, real life just doesn’t allow it—at least not yet. But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up. I’ve just gotten a little more creative about how I express myself.
One of the easiest, safest ways I’ve found to do that—even in boy mode—is through makeup.
Note from Michelle:
This post originally appeared on my old blog, Crossdresser Chronicles. I’ve moved it here because it still reflects an important part of my journey. Some details may be out of date, or lightly updated to fit where I am now.
👉 Read more about why I brought these posts over.
Why Subtle Makeup Matters
The more I explore the feminine side of myself, the more I want to stay there. I feel more comfortable, more whole, more me when I’m in that space. But the truth is, I still have to show up as a dad, a husband, the breadwinner. I still have to protect my family.
That means being careful. I don’t want to embarrass the people I love. I don’t want my kids to be bullied because their dad is “the one who dresses like a girl.” I could handle that judgment, sure—but I don’t want them to have to.
So I’ve found little ways to keep this part of me alive without drawing attention. Subtle makeup has become one of my favorite tools for doing that. Just quiet, soft touches that help me feel feminine even when no one else can see it. It’s a compromise. But it works.
What I Wear in Boy Mode
Here’s what I’ve worked into my everyday routine:
BB Cream: Evens out my skin tone without looking like I’m wearing anything. Super natural.
Concealer: A little under the eyes or on problem spots—just enough to look more awake.
Lip Balm: I use EOS (the fruity ones are my favorite!). Keeps my lips soft, and honestly? They smell amazing.
Eyebrow Pencil: Mostly for shaping, but I add a touch of color too. It makes a big difference.
And on days when I’m feeling just a little extra feminine:
Mascara: Yes, it stands out a bit. But I curl my lashes and apply just enough to make my eyes pop. It’s risky—but I’m in a cubicle all day, and I feel like I can get away with it.
Blush: A soft peach tone on the cheeks. Just enough to add a bit of warmth.
Eyeshadow: I stick to cool, skin-toned shades. Nothing dramatic. Just a touch to feel softer.
A Little Backup Plan
Just in case anyone does notice, I always keep a casual excuse ready. I usually say I’m recording a YouTube video later that day—which is technically true, since I do have a few channels. But so far? Not a single person has said a word. Not once.
Final Thoughts: Tiny Steps Still Count
I may not be able to go full femme every day. But that doesn’t mean I have to give her up. These small makeup choices are my way of holding onto her—even when the world needs me to look like him.
If you’re in a similar place, I see you. It’s okay to live in the in-between. You’re not any less valid because you can’t go “all the way.” Do what you can. Find the little things that make you feel more like yourself.
Even if it’s just mascara and a fruity lip balm.
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