I Tried ABDL (Kind Of). Here’s What I Learned

This is a little embarrassing to write, but I promised myself I’d be honest—and that means sharing the things I’ve explored, even when I don’t fully understand them yet. So… yes, I tried ABDL.

Kind of.

How It Started

At first, I didn’t expect it to be significant. I wasn’t sure why I felt drawn to it. One day, while shopping for girl-mode clothes, I saw a cute little bodysuit on Amazon. It made me think, “Why do I like this?” That curiosity sparked the start of my journey with ABDL.

Trying ABDL Step by Step

To start, I kept it simple. I bought some Depends—the kind you can grab at Walmart. Next, I picked up a cheap little bodysuit (still wear it, but not for ABDL). And yes, I even got a pacifier.

I didn’t explore regression fully—no cribs, no baby talk, no bottles—though the idea of trying a bottle still appeals. Surprisingly, the parts I did try felt calming and grounding. The full-on infantile aspects just didn’t click for me. That’s okay; many find joy in that side of ABDL, but it wasn’t my experience.

What Felt Surprising

The most surprising part was how much I enjoyed it. Wearing a diaper gave me a strange sense of safety and ease. Sitting at my computer, letting go, and feeling the warmth was unexpectedly grounding.

The pacifier also surprised me. I expected it to feel silly. Instead, using it at night helped quiet my racing thoughts. I didn’t feel “little” or regressed—I just felt calm. That sensation stayed with me longer than I anticipated.

ABDL Isn’t About Regression for Me

For many, ABDL is deeply connected to age regression. For me, it was about regulation—emotional, physical, and sensory. I stumbled into it by accident, yet the aspects that worked offered something real. They were gentle, comforting, and grounding.

Where I’m At

I plan to use diapers occasionally, especially when I have time and space to relax. I’m even considering reusable, cute, feminine cloth ones. A printed onesie might find its way into my wardrobe too.

I’m not “all in.” I haven’t joined the community or fully explored ABDL culture. But I did find comfort, soothing rituals, and calm. That is enough for now.

So, Am I ABDL?

I don’t know. I explored, embraced parts that felt right, and skipped others. Regardless of labels, the important takeaway is simple: I found something that helps me feel safe, soft, and grounded. That alone matters.