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Hey, lovelies.
For most of my life, I didn’t question who I was “supposed” to be attracted to. I liked girls. I married a woman. That was the script. I followed it.
But when I started crossdressing? That script stopped making sense. The moment I let myself explore femininity—even a little—my sexuality got loud. Complicated. Beautifully messy.
Note from Michelle:
This post originally appeared on my old blog, Crossdresser Chronicles. I’ve moved it here because it still reflects an important part of my journey. Some details may be out of date, or lightly updated to fit where I am now.
👉 Read more about why I brought these posts over.
From Curious to… Something Else
At first, I thought, Am I gay? Am I genderfluid? Trans?
Truthfully, I still don’t have a perfect label. But I do know this: the more I explored my feminine side, the more I realized I was into things I didn’t expect.
I tried toys. I experimented on my own. And what I discovered shocked me—I actually love the idea of being sexual with a man. Not in a romantic way. But physically? Hell yes.
That exploration didn’t erase my love or attraction for women. I’m still married. I still adore my wife. She knows everything—and she knows she’s still my person.
But yeah. There’s this other side of me too.
I unpack this a lot deeper in this post about the layers of crossdressing and desire.
Sexual Fluidity Is Real (And Normal)
Crossdressing didn’t make me gay. But it did break open a part of me I’d never explored before. And honestly? It felt amazing. Confusing at first, but amazing.
I realized I didn’t need a perfect label. I didn’t need to announce a new identity. I just needed to give myself permission to like what I like. Even if that changes. Even if I’m still figuring it out.
That’s something I also touched on in my emotional journey post—how what started as a turn-on became something much more honest.
Being Honest with My Partner
This part is scary for a lot of us. But I told her. All of it.
I told her about the fantasies, the toys, the curiosity about men. I also told her I wouldn’t act on it. Because our relationship means more to me than any secret fling. I chose trust over experience.
And she’s still here. She knows I’m evolving. But she also knows I’m not disappearing.
Still Questioning? You’re Not Alone
If you’re exploring these questions right now—Am I still straight? What does this say about me?—you’re not weird. You’re not broken. You’re just finally listening to yourself.
And if you’re ready to go deeper, I highly recommend My Husband Betty by Helen Boyd. It’s honest, messy, and full of love. A must-read for both crossdressers and their partners.
So no—I don’t have all the answers about my sexuality.
But I’ve stopped being afraid of the questions.
🖤 Michelle
2 Comments
Jeanie · July 13, 2025 at 1:59 pm
I am not attracted to men at all and could not use my male body for sexual pleasure with another man. I is not a religious thing, but some kind of male ego thing I guess.
That being said, in a reality where I transition, I believe that HRT would make me a bit attracted to men. and I want to know what is like to bottom for one, but still unless the male bit is gone I see it being kind of weird.
Michelle · July 14, 2025 at 6:27 am
That’s completely fair. My ego wouldn’t even let me try toys for so long. So I totally get it.
And I’ve heard the same from a lot of trans women—that HRT changes things. Sometimes attraction shifts. Sometimes it doesn’t. But wanting to know what it feels like? That curiosity is real. And valid.
I love that you’re giving yourself space to think about this without judgment. It’s messy, but it’s honest. And that matters way more than having it all figured out.