My Transgender Name Story: Before I Was Michelle

So this one’s a little personal. Not that they aren’t all personal—but this is my transgender name story. The kind of story that’s quiet at first. The names we almost had. The ones we try on. And eventually, the one we finally keep.

💜 This is a small part of my personal journey. Want the full story of how I figured it all out? I broke it all down here:
Crossdresser vs Transgender: How I Finally Figured Out Who I Am

The Name My Parents Picked

Long before I ever called myself Michelle, there was another name. One that was never actually used—but always there.

If I had been born a girl, my parents were going to name me Ashley Nicole.

Yeah. Peak 90s, I know. But honestly? I loved it.
Even as a kid, it stuck with me. I didn’t pretend to be Ashley or create some secret alter ego. It wasn’t like that. It was just… there. Sitting quietly in the back of my mind. Like a maybe. Like a whisper.
Like what if that was supposed to be me?

I didn’t get what that meant at the time. But now? It kind of makes perfect sense.

The Start of My Transgender Name Story

When I started crossdressing—before I ever said the word transgender out loud—I needed a name. And Ashley Nicole was just… waiting.

So I used it.

And honestly? It felt good. Familiar. Feminine. Like slipping into a version of myself that had always been waiting just offstage.

But as time went on, I noticed something strange.

Ashley felt like… someone else.
Like the version of me I could’ve been—not the one I actually am.
It didn’t feel fake, but it didn’t feel like mine either.

Choosing Michelle: A New Chapter in My Transgender Name Story

Eventually, I stopped using Ashley. Not because I hated it—but because I found a name that felt closer to home.

Michelle.

It’s actually a variation of my birth name. And that matters to me.
It’s not that the name itself bothers me. It’s the gender it represents.
I still don’t feel like I’m becoming a different person. I don’t want to erase who I was. I just want to exist as who I’ve always been—with the right gender.

Michelle felt like a way to honor that. To keep a thread to the name my parents gave me, even while claiming something new.
It felt like me. Finally.

Naming Isn’t Always a Clean Break

I know for a lot of trans folks, the name they were given can come with a lot of pain—especially if their relationship with their family is complicated or coming out didn’t go well.

That hasn’t really been my experience.

For me, it’s not that I dislike the name itself. I actually kind of like it.
I just don’t connect with the gender it was meant for.

So while I don’t use it anymore, I also don’t feel the need to pretend it never existed.

It’s part of my story.
So is Ashley.
So is Michelle.

And I guess what I’m trying to say is… a transgender name story doesn’t always happen in one big, dramatic moment.
Sometimes it’s slow. Sometimes it’s layered.
Sometimes it means trying one name on for a while and realizing it’s not quite yours.

And that’s okay.

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Have you ever had a “girl name” picked out for you?
Did you use it? Change it? Hate it?
I’d love to hear your story. 💖